Differences between Oxford and the Delta

After a couple of weeks, I have come to possess a warm affection for Ole Miss. I was not sure what was waiting for me here, having spent five months in the Delta earlier in the year, but only one previous afternoon in Oxford. Now, though, I feel qualified to make some comparisons between life in Oxford and life in the Delta.

In Oxford, you have Square Books.
In the Delta, you have no books.

In Oxford, you can go to the gym and lift weights.
In the Delta, you can lift cotton bails.

In Oxford, you can chase after squirrels, rabbits, and attractive coeds.
In the Delta, you can run away from cockroaches and giant mosquitoes.

In Oxford, men wear polo shirts and women wear make-up.
In the Delta, men wear overalls and women....well, I guess they wear overalls too.

In Oxford, there are bars in the downtown area.
In the Delta, there are bars everywhere; except in the Delta, the bars are in windows and doorways.

In Oxford, the University is a center for the exchange of ideas.
In the Delta, juke joints are centers for the exchange of ideas.

In Oxford, it is hotter than hell.
In the Delta, it is really hotter than hell.

In Oxford, the local high school students are well-behaved and you can understand what they are saying.

In the Delta, you will need a translator to understand what your kids are saying. Here's a hint: if everyone in the class is laughing except you, they are laughing at you, not with you.

Hope you enjoyed these comparisons. Feel free to add your own.

-Joel